Psalms 38:10

By these statements he implies two things: both the extraordinary degree of depression, by which the light does not even seem to be light, and the deprivation of divine care, which he rightly called "light of my eyes."

"My heart is troubled." Wherefore is it troubled? "And my courage hath failed me." Generally something comes upon us on a sudden; the "heart is troubled;" the earth quakes; thunder is sent from Heaven; a formidable attack is made upon us, or a horrible sound heard. Perhaps a lion is seen on the road; the "heart is troubled." Perhaps robbers lie in wait for us; the "heart is troubled:" we are filled with a panic fear; from every quarter something excites anxiety. Wherefore? Because "my courage hath failed me." For what would be feared, did that courage still remain unmoved? Whatever bad tidings were brought, whatever threatened us, whatever sound was heard, whatever were to fall, whatever appeared horrible, would inspire no terror. But whence that trouble? "My courage faileth me." Wherefore hath my courage failed me? "The light of mine eyes also is gone from me." Thus Adam also could not see "the light of his eyes." For the "light of his eyes" was God Himself, whom when he had offended, he fled to the shade, and hid himself among the trees of Paradise. He shrunk in alarm from the face of God: and sought the shelter of the trees; thenceforth among the trees he had no more "the light of his eyes," at which he had been wont to rejoice. ...

Whosoever feareth sleepeth not, and if he sleepeth, he seeth in his dream the cause of his fear; he eateth not, and he drinketh not, and if the force of natural craving compel him, fear is mingled with his meat and drink. Everything which attacketh the man who is filled with the fear of God abideth outside him, for fear keepeth fast hold upon the place of his understanding, and upon all the places of ingoing and outgoing of the city of his soul. Like the watchmen who stand by the gates of the city, even so doth fear keep fast hold upon the places of ingoing and outgoing of the soul, and it permitteth no act or thought to enter in or to go forth which it examineth not; for it neither permitteth any internal thought whatsoever to go forth, nor any external act that is not seemly to go in. And moreover this Prophet maketh known in other places the fear of God; "My flesh contracteth through fear of Thee, and I am afraid of Thy judgments." And again he saith, "I am like a wine skin in ice, but I have not forgotten Thy commandments." And again he saith, "Sorrow is in my heart all the day long. How long, O Lord, wilt thou turn Thy face from me? How long wilt Thou forget me, for ever? How long wilt Thou set trouble in my soul?" And again he saith, "Heal me, O Lord, for my bones tremble, and my soul is greatly moved. I am weary with my groaning; every night make I my bed to swim; and I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye hath become sick because of Thine anger"; now it is evident that all these things arose from [his] fear of God. And again he saith, "I roared by reason of the groaning of my heart"; and again he saith, "Lead me, O Lord, in Thy fear and righteousness"; and again he saith, "There is no soundness in my flesh before the fear of Thee, and there is no health in my bones in the presence of my sins. For my iniquities have gone over my head; and [they are] as a heavy burden heavy upon me. My wounds stink and are corrupt, and in the presence of my iniquities I tremble greatly. All the day long I walk in sadness. For my ankles are filled with trembling. I am much moved, and I am brought to great misery." And again he saith, "My heart is turned back, and my strength hath forsaken me; and the light of my eyes is no longer with me." And again he saith, "I kept silent, and I was sorrowful, and I was afflicted even from good; And my sickness was stirred. My…